Why do arrogant people annoy me

Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Article Summary. Part 1. Enter an encounter with an arrogant person with the strong and confident realization that you are well and strong. When you feel sound within your own self, there is nothing an arrogant person can say or do to undermine you. Your sense of confidence and self-worth will prohibit you from being vulnerable to an arrogant person. The arrogant person may be unable to relate to you and might even say obnoxious or cruel things but you can let it slide when you feel secure in yourself.

Use the encounter as an opportunity to improve your own listening skills or tolerance. Perhaps your weakness is impatience, frustration, or annoyance. Perhaps you feel intimidated. Try to flip your usual negative approaches upside down and treat this as a learning opportunity in which you seek to listen without judging. Aim to tolerate the person, seeking to understand what motivates him or her, and how you might feel in the same position. Of course, there is no place for excusing bad behavior but at least you can listen with an open mind——you might just surprise the arrogant person.

Consider the ways in which you interact with other people. Do you assert yourself, or are you a people-pleaser; a grouch; or a timid mouse? Arrogant people look for those who won't assert because they like to push people around or press their buttons. If you have difficulties in this area, you may wish to improve your assertiveness as well as learning how else to respond to arrogant types. Part 2. Assess the situation. Why do you feel that a person is being arrogant?

Have they been condescending to you or have they never spoken to you? If there has not been an incident that showed you this person feels superior to you, don't assume he or she is arrogant too quickly. You might wrong him or her. If you feel that your interests and needs are not being respected at all, this can be a sign of dealing with an arrogant person, especially where he or she insists that his or her way is the only way.

Listen to their conversation. Is it always about them? Do they get mad or irritated if the center of attention moves to someone else? Boasting, dismissing others, and behaving as if they know everything is a sure sign of an arrogant type. Interrupting conversations or breaking off abruptly are other signs of arrogance when talking. It may be subtle or overt but you'll certainly know of it. Consider how dismissive the person is towards you and your ideas or thoughts. Dismissive attitudes signal a belief in being better than others.

Does this person put down the things you care about, especially in public? Listen for a tone of voice that indicates bossiness and a dismissive attitude.

Does this person even notice when you are bored with the conversation? Arrogant people never notice this! Consider whether you're included or excluded in decision-making with this person. Arrogant people rarely include others in decision-making because they're certain that they're right and already have the answers. Of even less concern is whether or not the decision impacts you. Does this person try to hang around with, work with, or conspire with people of high status? This is because the arrogant person believes he or she is only worthy of those with high status.

Be aware that arrogant people are often quite insecure. Through seeking to dominate and control, they feel in control, a reflection of their big fear of being dominated and controlled. The arrogant person finds it hard to admit being wrong and no matter how preposterous, will often cling to a belief that he or she knows things even when the knowledge is outdated or fails to take into account broader perspectives.

Sadly, many arrogant people actually have less life experience than their pretense; it's all a big cover up embellished by imagination and envy. Pretending or even actually knowing as much as possible about something thought to be exclusive gives the arrogant person the upper hand and he or she isn't afraid to show off. It is very difficult for an arrogant person to understand complexity.

He or she is much happier with predictable, black and white situations and tends to see all of life with such a view. This can cause the arrogant person to assume a lot and know very little. Anxiety can bring about a sense of arrogance without a real intention to treat you as inferior. In this case, the anxious person is simply overwhelmed by seeming inadequate in a conversation and tries too hard to be clever.

This can end up sounding superior and, if coupled with dominating the conversation, can seem arrogant. Be careful to look more deeply before you judge the person's motivation. An anxious person will be interested in your responsiveness, while an arrogant one couldn't care less and won't ever apologize for talking too much. Part 3. Don't let it get to you. This can be easier said than done but by ignoring the practiced superiority, it's knocking down the whole purpose of the behavior.

Be charitable in interpreting this person's obvious exaggerations and assumptions and try to find ways to excuse some of the big talk especially if it's a relative or someone you see regularly.

Probe for what you can enjoy about the encounter——among all of the fluff, there probably is something worth knowing or exploring more deeply together. Maybe this person is good for a story or is charming in spite of the evident snobbery.

When meeting someone new for the first time, it is always best to give him or her the chance to reveal his or her true nature fully. This means listening attentively and allowing the other person to speak freely.

Be polite and acknowledge what is said without trying to engage any more deeply. As the person talks, his or her personality will be exposed and you'll find it's either friendly and equitable or mired in insecurity and therefore likely to bring up a range of irritating behaviors.

Be tactful. Discuss how much you owe to luck in life and the kindness of others. Note too, that many people do it tough in life, and how amazed you at how such people manage to thrive all the same. This gives a hint that you're not going to stand around listening to blarney about the arrogant person's amazing supernatural abilities.

Change the topic of conversation. This can take the wind out of an arrogant person keen to dominate a conversation on a topic that he or she feels comfortable.

If there is an attempt to return to the old topic, politely point out that you have already made known your views and return to yet another new topic. This will help to make it clear that you're not standing there all day to listen to a one-comedian show.

Avoid interacting much at all. Smile a lot. Say very little. Nod here and there. Refuse to be drawn in. Human tendency is such that, while you do not acknowledge pride in yourself, you are quick to recognize and condemn pride in others when they prickle you with their comments. In his famous work of Christian apologetics, Mere Christianity , C. Lewis attributes your annoyance towards others to your own pride:.

I have heard people admit that they are bad tempered, or that they cannot keep their heads about girls or drink, or even that they are cowards. I do not think I have ever heard anyone who was not a Christian accuse himself of this vice. And at the same time I have very seldom met anyone, who was not a Christian, who showed the slightest mercy to it in others.

There is no fault which makes a man more unpopular, and no fault which we are more unconscious of in ourselves. And the more we have it ourselves, the more we dislike it in others. The vice I am talking of is Pride or Self-Conceit … the more pride one had, the more one disliked pride in others. It is because I wanted to be the big noise at the party that I am so annoyed at someone else being the big noise. The attitude that entails self-centeredness and superiority is called hubristic pride.

It springs from fragile self-worth and manifests in less-desirable behaviors such as being disagreeable, pushy, vulnerable, and given to disgrace. You feel so badly about yourself that you compensate by feeling superior. Consequently, hubristic pride deprives you of humility.

As an alternative to hubristic pride, philosophers advocate authentic pride. While hubristic pride depends on what happens outside yourself, authentic happiness is internal. Keep your distance to you can keep your sanity. Simply do your best to stay out of their way. Lead from within: Overconfident people are arrogant people who simply too insecure to face their own reality.

As Charles Bukowski so brilliantly stated, the problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence. After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits.

But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

In reading the above article, How To Handle Annoying Overconfident People In Your Life, I immediately found myself thinking back many years ago on my 19 year marriage that ended in Why my marriage? Because the word narcissist appeared above and you explained what that word meant.

It described my ex to a T. And I believe my marriage lasted as long as it did was because I found my own confidence as the years passed by.

I thank God I got away from that and met my ex a year later and married him a year after that. I was a young 21 year old wife.

A few years later, we adopted two South Korean toddlers…they were a blessing. I was quite busy being a mom and working full time. They were my saving grace!